Movies for a Rainy Day

The Good, the Bad, and the So-Bad-They're-Good.

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Iron Fist

Okay, there is a long, complicated backstory here. It involves Danny Rand’s (he’s Iron Fist) father and a mystical city of martial artists. Danny eventually grows up in K’un-Lun (that mystical city I mentioned before) where he is now an orphan (his dad was murdered by his business partner and his mom was eaten by wolves). Young Danny learns the ways of the martial arts masters of K’un-Lun (he is trained by Lei Kung on the order of Yu-Ti). Being an adult, now, he wants to return to the civilized world and get his family business back from his dad’s old business partner (he killed Danny’s dad, remember?).

Danny makes it to New York, NY and soon finds that he was followed by a very angry guy from K’un-Lun (after all, this outsider white kid gets special training on the order of the city’s ruler…somebody is bound to get jealous). Danny gets very close to killing Meachum (his dad’s old business partner/murderer) but he is so ashamed of his feelings of vengeance that he walks away. A mysterious ninja kills Meachum (this would be Davos, the son of Lei Kung and really jealous guy). Danny is pinned for Meachum’s death and he now has to clear his name. He meets Misty Knight (no, not a stripper). Misty was an NYPD until a terrorist attack left her with one arm. Tony Stark supplied a bionic arm (with super strength) to Misty and she became a private investigator. She helps Danny clear his name and they fall in love…

…Did I miss anything? Oh! Davos!

He’s the guy in the air.

He becomes the Steel Serpent and wants to kill Danny. He is jealous of this outsider boy gaining the coveted power of the Iron Fist. That is where this movie could bring back some really good martial arts fights (but PLEASE no wire work). I’m talking old school martial arts training scenes a la “Legend of Kung Fu” mixed with gritty modern urban martial arts fights like in “Unleashed” or really any other Jet Li movie (I think his Kung Fu is strongest in recent movies).

Dream Cast:

Iron Fist/Danny Rand: Scott Adkins (“The Expendables 2”)

Davos/Steel Serpent: Donnie Yen (“Ip Man”)

Yu-Ti: Gordon Liu (“Kill Bill”)

Lei Kung: Bolo Yeung (“Bloodsport”)

Misty Knight: Rosario Dawson (“Death Proof”)

Meachum: Danny Huston (“John Adams” T.V.)


Snow White and the Seven Pecks…er…I mean Dwarves.

“Why am I so much like Bavmorda!?”

Just in case some die hard fans of this movie get angry with what I’m about to say,  I’ll start with a big “I loved this movie”.

That being said, did anybody else notice that this movie was almost exactly like 1988’s “Willow”? I mean, there were a few less mystical animals and the “chosen girl” was a baby and not a woman in “Willow”, but I think Hemsworth studied Kilmer a bit to get ready for his role as the Huntsman. It makes me wonder if these two stories are based on the same Celtic myth. I’m down for that. I love Celtic, Viking, Greek…any mythology, really.

This movie is the newest in, what I hope to be, a long line of positive, strong female role models. Snow White and Alice (from the last Burton movie) are two strong-minded and adventurous girls that don’t rely on sexuality to get the job done (or have men do the job for them). Fantastic movie and I can’t wait to see what’s next. I hope “Mulan”.

A Quick Thanks

I would just like to throw out a quick thanks to those of you who have chosen to follow my blog. I started this about three months back and the feeling of having almost 20 people following me is crazy. I feel flattered, validated, excited and just a little blown away. I can’t seem to wrap my head around why some people like my ramblings enough to want to get an email every time I post, but you have my thanks.

Bacon lovers (and zombie haters) unite!

Good to know zombies can keep their priorities straight.

So this isn’t a movie post, but check this blog out if you love bacon or hate zombies (in a good way).

Arise the Demon, Etrigan!

There’s Hell to pay.

Doesn’t sound familiar? Well, he’s been used in a few Batman animated shows before, but he’s mainly from the books. His time has come! But who is he? The son of the demon Belial (one of the four crowned princes of Hell), Etrigan is a demon that was summoned by the powerful wizard Merlin. Merlin wants the secrets of Etrigan’s power, but is unable to discover them. As this is going on, she-sorcerer Morgan Le Fay finds out that Etrigan is in the human world and wants to use him as her demonic slave. To avoid this, Merlin bonds Etrigan to the soul of one of Camelot’s knights named Jason Blood. This hides Etrigan from Le Fay and allows Jason to not only become immortal, but he can also call on the demon whenever he needs his help. The only catch is that he has to be able to speak this invocation: “Change! Change, O form of man! Release the might from fleshy mire! Boil the blood in heart of fire! Gone! Gone! — the form of man — Rise, the Demon Etrigan!!” Sounds really dark and Shakespearean, right, but if his mouth is taped shut, he can’t say it.

So Jason Blood is now really old (but still looks like he’s in his late 20s-early 30s) and hanging out in modern day Gotham (but for a film, New York could be used). He finds work as a freelance demonologist, exorcist and consultant for the police whenever anything super weird comes up. But who does he have to deal with? Who is his villain? A little boy.

This kid needs a time-out.

Klarion (the “Witch Boy”) is a little kid who lives in a secretive society made up of the descendants of the lost Roanoke colony. As a member of this hidden society, Klarion becomes very adept in the “Dark Arts”.  After almost being burned at the stake by his community, he decides that it’s time he head out into the general public. So, out in our world, he uses his magical abilities to wreak havoc. Now, here’s where I would take this for a movie: Klarion finds a way to contact Morgan Le Fay after he witnesses the demon Etrigan at work. He teams with her and makes a deal: She gets Etrigan and he gets to be her adopted son, thereby getting to rule the world with her.

This movie would be like a cross between “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and “The Incredible Hulk”.  Magic would be a huge factor in the action of the film, but any groans about that can be washed away by thinking about “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”, “Willow”, or “Lord of the Rings”. Magic in action films has been done very well, lately, and this movie would certainly keep to that. Along with magic, knock-down drag-out fights can be used. Think “Hellboy”. This could be a huge movie with some serious sequel possibilities.

By the way, don’t think for a second that this is “Hellboy”. Etrigan is not funny or nice. He’s a mean badass demon.

Dream Cast:

Etrigan: Industrial Light and Magic (“The Avengers”)

Jason Blood: Jude Law (“Sherlock Holmes”)

Klarion: Gulliver McGrath (“Dark Shadows”)

Morgan Le Fay: Eva Green (“Dark Shadows”)

Merlin: Christopher Lee (“Lord of the Rings”)

Belial: Jeremy Irons (“Die Hard: With a Vengeance”)

Wonder Woman


Wonder Woman (also known as Diana Prince) was “born” in Themyscira and is an ambassador of the Amazons. She was created by her mother, the Queen of Themyscira, Hippolyta, when formed from the beach sands and prayed over. Her mother asked the gods to bestow her with great attributes: “beautiful as Aphrodite, wise as Athena, swifter than Hermes and stronger than Hercules.” She also can speak any language and, in some stories, talk to animals.

She met this guy, Steve Trevor, when he crashed his military jet onto the island home of the Amazons. She nursed him back to health and he fell for her. But, being an Amazon, Diana was slow to form relationships with men. So, sorry Steve.

Craaaazy Witch!

Her coolest (and most likely to be in a movie) villain is the evil witch Circe. If the name is familiar, it’s because this was the witch from “The Odyssey” that trapped Odysseus and his men, turning most of them into pigs. Circe is a bad, bad chick. Basically, Circe has the soul of Hecate (an evil witch/moon goddess) inside her, but since Diana is also a moon goddess name, she thinks that Wonder Woman wants Hecate’s soul, too. If that happened, Circe would lose all her powers. So, Circe spends all her time trying to kill Wonder Woman even though Wonder Woman doesn’t want the soul of Hecate inside her. If it sounds complicated, it kinda is.

Anyway, this would be a film close in feel to “Thor”, but with a little more “Girl Power”. And I’m not talking about “Columbiana” or “Electra” girl power, I’m talking about “Kill Bill” or “Haywire” girl power. Wonder Woman is an expert in dozens of hand-to-hand fighting styles, adept in weaponry (especially her enchanted sword and shield), good with magic and is equipped with her indestructible bracelets and her Lasso of Truth…which is also indestructible. There would be some magic play, but with Circe’s ability to turn almost anyone to her will, this movie could have some gritty, hardcore fights.

Besides, do I really need to make an argument for this movie? “Batman Begins”, “Superman: Man of Steel”, and even “Green Lantern” have all been done, it’s obviously time for Wonder Woman.

Dream Cast:

Wonder Woman/Diana Prince: Gina Carano (“Haywire”)

Circe:Angelina Jolie (“Gone in 60 Seconds”)

Steve Trevor: Channing Tatum (“G.I. Joe”)

Queen Hippolyta:Lynda Carter (“Wonder Woman” TV)

A Stallone Clip That Needs Watchin’

Came across this and I don’t know how to link to it, so click it or copy/paste or whatever you need to do to see this.

Captain Marvel (A.K.A. The Big Red Cheese)

Big Red Cheese

Captain Marvel is really a little orphan boy named Billy Batson who was transported to the mystical mountain-top home of the powerful wizard Shazam. The wizard saw good in the boy and told him that whenever he needed to, he could speak the wizard’s name and be transformed into the “World’s Mightiest Mortal”. The name Shazam is actually an acronym for Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles and Mercury. When Billy became Captain Marvel, he would be granted traits of these mythical heroes (wisdom, strength, stamina, power, courage and speed, respectively).

Scary Bad Guy

One of his worst arch enemies was Black Adam. He was a former recipient of the power of Shazam and he went bad. Equal in power to Captain Marvel, but he was given this power as an adult, which Shazam had decided was the reason he went bad. Billy Batson, being a little boy, still had the right heart for the job. He wasn’t power hungry or cynical.

This would be an epic movie that would essentially be two “Superman” types duking it out. The difference, though, is that even as Captain Marvel, he still has the mind of young Billy. So he doesn’t cuss. He blushes when a lady gives him the eye. He’s one big muscular kid. This would have a lot of humor in the same vein as Brandon Frazier’s character in “Blast From the Past”, but the big superhero action that “Thor” or “Iron Man” has. Captain Marvel is the man-child with the heart of gold. Pitting that against the more “grown up” mentality of Black Adam would add a great element to what would otherwise be a typical big-guy-hitting-big-guy superhero film.

Dream Cast:

Captain Marvel:Brandon Frazier (“Blast From the Past”)

Billy Batson:Joel Courtney (“Super 8”)

Shazam:Ian McKellen (“Lord of the Rings”)

Black Adam:Dwayne Johnson (“Faster”)

Complaints of a Comic Book Enthusiast.


Okay, so we have the first believable Batman ever on film. A fantastic group of Marvel single character movies and “The Avengers”. We even had a great Superman movie a few years back (yeah, it didn’t do well in the box office numbers, but it was very honest to the character).

But we need more. Marvel and DC both have a slew of other great characters that can make great movies, but where are they? I’m going to break down my top 5 comics-to-movies that should happen for both companies. This will take a while, but it’s gonna be fun.

First, I’ll go DC with a post for each movie. Then Marvel. I’ll do remakes that should happen and characters that have never been used before. If you have an opinion on who you think should have a flick in their honor, tell me. I’d love to hear it.

Forgotten Martial Arts Flicks

Remember all those Seagal, Van Damme, Chan martial arts movies? Well, this has nothing to do with those. This post is about three lesser-known films that if you do remember, you will agree that they were very cool…at least at the time.

First up, “Only the Strong”.

Ala Cuisine!

Starring Marc Dacascos (otherwise known as the Chairman of Iron Chef: America), this 93 flick follows the basic storyline of troubled high school kids who get their lives turned around by a new teacher. Not the most original story, but whatever works, right? So who is the inspirational teacher? A capoeira (a little known Brazilian dance fighting style) practitioner. Seems like smooth sailing, but wait! The local gang also knows capoeira! Wow, what are the chances? Wooden acting, recycled story, but the fights are something you don’t get to se very often. This one is worth a look back.

Next we have “The Perfect Weapon”.

Where did this guy go?

Jeff was a high school delinquent whose father sent him to a traditional kenpo karate school for some self discipline. When the adult Jeff comes back to the old neighborhood, he finds the Korean mafia are pushing his old teacher around. Jeff doesn’t like this. Starring the superstar Jeff Speakman, thi- What? You’ve never heard of him? Oh, I’m sorry. I guess he’s not a superstar. Anyway…a fun movie with some truly cool fights, one of which is the total defeat of about 6 guys in seconds, this 1991 flick is a lazy afternoon time-killer.

Finally, a movie that actually has a good underground following…”The Last Dragon”. SHO’NUFF!

He really did catch that arrow.

Motwon creator, Berry Gordy brings us one of the best black martial arts movies ever. Leroy Green is growing up in a tough city, but he’s trying to better himself through martial arts. But he doesn’t fight. He focuses on the spiritual oneness offered by practicing martial arts, hence his nickname “Bruce Leroy”. Leroy’s life gets turned upside-down when he saves the local TV star Laura Charles (played by Prince girl Vanity). Events lead Leroy to the final showdown with Sho’Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem. But can Leroy find the glow within himself and defeat his foes?

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